The modern medical system can be exasperating for patients and their families. If your parent or spouse was ill before she died you likely endured endless doctor visits, tests, and hospitalizations. With COVID 19 the challenges exacerbated the stress just attempting to communicate with a hospitalized family member and caregivers.
You may feel frustrated that treatments didn’t work or were not tried. You may feel angry that doctors were unthorough or seemed brusque. You may feel bad decisions were made or that your loved one suffered too long.
If you harbor bad feelings about your loved one’s medical care, find a way to express your feelings. Talking about your grievances with a counselor or other helping professional can help you move beyond them and get onto the real work of mourning your loved one’s death.
What can you do?
Write a letter to the doctor or healthcare facility even if you don’t send it. If you have personal contact in the medical field, you may find it helpful to talk to that person. Talking about your feelings with your family or a close friend can also be helpful.
While you may feel upset about some aspects of your loved one’s medical care you are probably grateful about some other aspects of their care. Write a note of thanks to a caregiver who was helpful or compassionate.
Healing a Spouse’s Grieving Heart, Wolfelt, Alah D. PhD 2003 Companion Press.
