6 These are the commands, decrees and laws the Lord your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, 2 so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the Lord your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life. (Deuteronomy 6:1-2)
This year one of the seasons of life I have experienced, after years of helping other parents with, is having a teenager on the verge of adulthood. The transition from a parent’s role of authority to one of support, and thus part of letting them fly, is a tough one but necessary. It can be an emotional one as well.
One of the biggest questions one experiences during this season is “Have I done enough to prepare them for adulthood?” This question is a deep and challenging one, yet the answer I would propose is ambiguous. I would say that there is never enough we can teach and do to fully prepare them practically but foundationally we can. Earlier in my ministry internships, I had the privilege to work with and serve under a great lady, who was a children’s minister. I remember stressing over the question of how do I get enough from my college experience to be “fully ready” for working in ministry. Her response still comes to my mind. In general, she responded to my question and fear with the understanding that college is not intended to give me all the answers but where to and how to find the answers.
This response, I believe, translates to the question I referenced earlier in regards to doing enough for teens heading into adulthood. Below, I offer a few suggestions to help with loving our children into adulthood.
- Be intentional, foundationally, with what we want each child to be clear on upon leaving the home. (There are a LOT of great things to instill in them but they will remember only so much)
- Be intentional with where we find our answers to challenges and where we encourage them to find answers. (If we say it and then do it teenagers will respect it.)
- Be available/open for them. (Teenagers won’t get everything right. After all, I imagine you came as close as I did. They need to feel safe to come to you. No one likes “I told you so!” or “What were you thinking?” Once they are adults we have lost our authority over them but we can always have influence.
I encourage you to read Deuteronomy 6:1-9 for encouragement on the importance of passing on our faith in Christ and how to do it.
Jason is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, as well as an ordained minister, who served as a Christian Counselor in Indiana for nearly 4 years and is currently counseling in Indianapolis area. He has a passion for families and has counseled individuals and families in various settings for over 10 years. He is blessed to be called husband and father in his family and enjoys fire pits, playing tennis and watching various sports, as well as being involved in his local church. His life verse is: “The Lord is my refuge, a stronghold in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in Him.” Nahum 1:7
If you are interested in scheduling an appointment, please contact our office at 317-474-6448 ext. 115.
