Just like there is no single right way for you to mourn, there is no single right way for your brothers or sisters to mourn. In fact, it is likely that you will each mourn in different ways. Some of your siblings’ responses may be what you anticipate and others may surprise you. Remember, each of your siblings is doing the best they can during this time of loss and everyone is in some way wounded. Try not to let these differences in mourning alarm you or hurt your feelings.
After the death of a parent, navigating sibling relationships can also change. Sibling relationships are often already complex. Finding ways to nurture those relationships following the death of a parent can be difficult, yet it is very helpful. Sometimes disagreements or resentments about the care, burial, or distribution of parents’ belongings can linger for months or even years. It is a good idea to discuss the caregiving of your surviving parent openly. Remember, you each have a unique relationship with the surviving parent. We have often shared very much with our siblings including our youth, our parents and now the loss of our parent(s). Because of this, who else is better to help each other in the healing process than siblings?
My challenge for you:
If sibling conflicts are disturbing you or the family, do your best not to place blame but to foster harmony.
Healing the Adult Child’s Grieving Heart, Wolfelt, Alan D, PhD. Companion Press.
