Many families dread the nightly task of completing homework. It’s understandable! No one enjoys homework and both you and your child would rather spend the time doing other things.
If your family has developed a homework phobia, try implementing the following tips, and you may just find that the homework monster can be tamed after all.
Let your child decompress from the school day before starting in on homework. Many children, and adults for that matter, need some down time when they first get home from school and work. Let your child get a snack, play, or have some screen time to rest from the cognitive demands of the day. If your child resists returning to schoolwork, after this break time, insert some kind of structure to reinforce that this break is only temporary. For example, set a timer to go off at the end of break time or limit your child to watching one 30-minute TV episode.
Monitor your emotional state throughout the process. As the parent, you set the emotional tone for homework time. Try to enter this space with a clear mind, with your attention focused on the task at hand, and in an emotional state of peace and calm. If you start to get tense, breathe and focus on calming your anxious feelings. Your child will pick up on and mirror your emotional state. If you get tired, irritable, and frustrated, chances are your child will too.
Start with the most challenging subjects/ tasks first. It’s always wise to tackle the hardest work when your child is at her freshest. Plus, completing the most difficult task first creates a sense of momentum – since, once the hardest thing is done, the rest is easy by comparison.
If your child gets stuck, resist the urge to simply repeat what you’ve already said. Try finding a new way to explain the concept or approach it from a different angle.
If your child gets really frustrated, have them step away and take a break. It’s amazing how stepping away from a problem, even for just a few minutes, often allows you to see it with a fresh perspective.
If your child tells you you’re “doing it wrong” or refuses your help, consider your options about how to respond. If this is not a regular occurrence, remember that your child could learn a lot from the natural consequences of turning in a poorly done or incomplete assignment. Obviously, if this situation happens fairly often, a more directive approach is required.
Talk with your child’s teacher, especially when it comes to Math, to see if the method you were taught for solving problems is the same as what is being taught to your child now. Education methods and trends change over time and there’s always the chance that your attempts to help your child are inadvertently creating confusion.
Structure the evening so that there is a fun or pleasurable activity waiting for your child once the homework is completed. For example, allow extra leisure/ screen time if the homework is done in a timely manner. If this causes your child to rush and do poor quality work, feel free to check your child’s work and have him/her redo problems that are wrong or completely redo assignments that don’t meet the minimum standard. In fairly short order, your child should learn that shoddy work and short cuts ultimately cut into their leisure time reward.
If all else fails, remember that many of us parents don’t make good teachers. We can’t all be naturally gifted educators. If you and/or your child often end up feeling deeply frustrated over homework battles, consider hiring a tutor. A person with specialized knowledge of the subject matter, and possibly training in how to accommodate different learning styles, might be just the ticket to making your child a successful student – especially in his most challenging subjects.
