Want try something playful with your partner? Get some Monopoly play money and give each other a breakdown of 5 (1s), 5 (10s), and 5 (20s). Start a conversation with your partner by asking the question: “What is happening in your life that you are excited about?”
Then, look at the emotional bank account areas below and see how many ways you can give away your money to your partner. Be mindful to see and listen for how your partner tries to deposit into your emotional bank account. Evaluate how much what your partner is saying or doing is “worth” to you. Each time you see or hear something that makes a deposit give them some portion of your play monies.
The “winner” is the first person to give away all of their Monopoly play money to their partner and ultimately gets their emotional bank account filled up first. Be quick to try creative ways to give words and actions that speak into your partner’s heart. Take turns trying to fill up each other’s emotional bank accounts.
Emotional Bank Account Areas
Empathy
Empathy means seeing the world through your partner’s perspective. There are some great ways to express empathy; actively listening, being interested in your partner’s life, understanding rather than judging, evaluating or criticizing, respecting differences and showing physical signs of understanding like smiling, nodding and verbal acknowledgement.
Genuine Kindness
The more you show the person you love that you care, the better they will feel. Be kind and giving as much as you can! Try simple things like giving a card, remembering important days, increasing your partner’s self-esteem, giving a hug when your partner is sad, etc.
Trust
Actions that reinforce the trust in your relationship will strengthen your partner’s confidence in your integrity. Be Honest. Be Accountable. Even little things like showing up on time, keeping promises and following through on the little things you commit to will make a significant impact.
Loyalty
Loyalty means that you whole-heartedly support the person in your relationship. Being in a strong relationship means having each other’s backs regardless of circumstance. Remain faithful. Say good things about your partner, even if they aren’t there to hear it. Stand by your loved one when others walk away and be willing to sacrifice what you want for your partner sometimes.
Forgiveness and Apology
Get into the habit of thinking positively. We all make mistakes, and often, our character is not judged on the mistakes we make but on how we learn and change from them. These deposits are more challenging for some, but are well worth it. Take 100% responsibility for your actions, offer sincere apologies when you mess up, accept your partner’s apologies when offered sincerely and give hugs even when you feel upset.
High-quality Communication
We hear all the time that communication is important, but it’s a powerful truth. Communication is important! Be willing to talk openly, LISTEN, use direct language, (instead of innuendos or sarcasm), don’t assume you know what your partner is thinking and be willing to express yourself.
Fondness and Admiration
Share your fondness and admiration with your partner by letting them know what qualities you admire. What benefits you get from your intimate relationship. What you appreciate about them. What characteristics you find lovable. Tell your partner what you respect about them.
It’s very important to learn your partner’s love language. When we apply these emotional bank account areas every day to each other it will put a smile on both of your faces. Figure out: Is it helping others in acts of service, spending quality time together, meeting emotional needs by saying it with words, saying it with gifts, saying it with touch? Once you learn your partner’s love language, invest in communicating using their love language.
It’s important to avoid making emotional bank account withdrawals. Be careful not to undo all the good work you both are doing by placing emotional deposits. Just like your bank account, if you overdraw, you’re in trouble. Steer clear of the following whenever possible: Manipulation, blaming, criticizing, hostility, defensiveness, jealousy, indifference, lack of affection, quarreling, rejection, pessimism, workaholism, laziness, nagging, demanding, and having a lack of spontaneity.
