What is my purpose? What is life supposed to be? How can I move on? How did I get here? These and many more questions like them are questions shared by clients over the years. I would love to tell you that I have a quick fix or an easy answer, but I don’t. I ask my clients one simple question…What do you value? Usually, I am met with staring eyes, or broken speech. Often the response follows something like this, “Well, I, I think, gosh, I think…. Do you mean something like honesty?” And then the discussion begins.
When was the last time you sat down and physically listed the things in life, IN YOU, that you value? What I have learned over the years is that if I don’t have a firm foundation of my belief system, a constant way to measure, then I don’t have a way to find the answers I am seeking when life hits.
I created the “Ruler” of my life. The ruler is a simple measuring tool that is steady, accurate and dependable. I took the same concept, sat down and chose the markers by which I measure my life, how I make decisions, choose jobs, friends, or a romantic relationship. The ruler I created includes the values I have for myself. The values I chose allow me to lay my head on my pillow at night and say job well done.
STEP1: CHOOSE VALUES A quick google search will help you develop your list. Choose as many or as few you feel reflect your life goals. For example: Integrity, faith, honesty, acceptance, learning, physical health, family, respect…
STEP 2: DEFINE VALUES Take the time to define what the values mean to you and how they apply to your life goals. For example, Faith – faith is my active participation in Christianity by living my life daily walking with Jesus. I will participate through devotions, bible studies, reading the word, attending church or small groups. I will use faith to build relationships and aid in how I communicate with people.
STEP 3: TAKE A MEASUREMENT When faced with a choice go back to the ruler of values and see where it aligns or doesn’t align. Does that job offer that requires you to uproot your family align with your values? Does this friendship with conflict require conflict resolution skills or do I need to let go?
STEP 4: EVALUATE VALUES We are ever growing, learning and developing human beings. Life stages require an evaluation to make sure our goals and our values align. For example, in my 50’s my career direction is much different than when I was in my 20’s.
What are you waiting for? A pencil and paper are all you need to get started on ruling your life!!
