What does it mean to be emotionally healthy? Who do you think of when you think of an emotionally healthy person?
God created us with emotions. We see the spectrum of God’s emotions in Scripture. We read of Jesus’ many emotions: sadness, joy, anger, and anxiety to name a few. Here are some thoughts on emotional health gleaned from years as a therapist working with a variety of clients. These thoughts also come from a variety of workshops and dialogues with other clinicians throughout the years.
Emotional Health Defined:
Our emotions are intertwined with our thoughts and behaviors. These three factors affect one another and work together. People with good emotional health are aware of their health status and work on their thoughts, life, and behaviors. Because of this, people with good emotional health are in control of their thoughts, feelings and behaviors. They know that emotions themselves are neither good nor bad, moral or immoral, right or wrong; but it’s our behavior, or what we do we do with our emotions, that can be good or bad, effective or ineffective. They keep things in perspective and learn to cope with stress and problems. They know when to seek help from their doctor or a counselor.
Emotionally Healthy People Do the Following:
- They Communicate Emotions Effectively – They are able to identify their emotions and express emotions in constructive and healthy ways for themselves and others. They are able to be assertive. They share their feelings with supportive others saying, “I feel _____ (sad, happy, irritated, afraid, etc) because ____________.” They can process their feelings asking themselves, “who, what, when, where or why?” questions that may help them discern what events and thoughts are behind the emotion. They can ask themselves, “How can I use this information constructively for myself? For others?”
Examples of Unhealthy Expression of Emotions:
- Exploding Anger – The exploder may “feel” better for a bit having gotten the thing off their chest, but they hurt others. They usually end up feeling guilty themselves if they still have a conscience. Exploding emotions have negative consequences in all areas of life: mental, relational, physical, spiritual and emotional.
- Stuffing Emotions – Keeping emotions inside takes a lot of energy and can lead to depression, obsessive fears, guilt, shame, and stress. Stuffing can also lead addictions. Addictive behaviors and/or addictive substances may be used to escape feeling emotions. Stuffing can also result in exploding. Again, stuffing has negative consequences in all areas of life.
- Emotionally Healthy People Communicate Assertively – They communicate their thoughts and feelings in a manner that is considerate of self/others (Not aggressive, disrespectful, yelling, hitting, or stuffing).
- They Think Before Acting – They can calm down before communicating. They might weigh the pros and cons of actions before acting.
- They Focus on the Positives – Instead of obsessing about the negatives in life, they find the positives.
- They are Aware of Their Values, Morals and Interests – and strive to live consistently with them. They know who they are and what they are about. Healthy Spirituality is key to healthy emotionality.
- They Are Able to Develop Close Relationships – (family, friends, etc) They have healthy emotional and physical boundaries.
- Maintain Good Physical Health – They realize physical health affects emotional health and emotional health affects physical health (8-9 hours of sleep, regular exercise, nutritious-balanced diet, while avoiding abuse of alcohol and drugs). Lack of emotional health can contribute to physical problems such as ulcers, acid reflux, irritable bowl syndrome, heart problems and a host of other things.
- They Identify and Deal with Stressors in a Healthy Manner – Identify stressors (having too much to do, problems, working too hard, thinking patterns and perceptions) and learn to use ways to reduce stress. Healthy people make time to problem solve, relax, enjoy leisure, exercise, communicate with supportive people, and identify behaviors and thoughts that need to change to relieve stress.
