What are emotions?
Emotions can be thought of as an indicator of either a met or an unmet need. We all have basic human needs such as food, shelter, and safety. Positive emotions are the result of having our needs fulfilled, and negative emotions arise from having a basic need unmet. For example, you may have felt touched by a present from a friend because your basic need for consideration from others was fulfilled. On the other hand, you may become really hungry when your basic need for hunger goes unmet.
How can I tell what my emotion is?
Many times, there are physical sensations in our bodies that can be associated with our emotions. Think about the last time you watched a scary movie; your heart likely raced in anticipation of the next unexpected turn of events. It can be easier to first identify physically what is happening in your body and then ask yourself what emotion this could be associated with.
Why does this matter?
Sometimes, our emotions feel out of control. The good news is that we can gain control of our emotions. Identifying your emotion and taking it a step further to uncover the basic human need behind it allows you to process what is occurring internally and search for alternative ways to fulfill that need. Using this principle, I can take notice of my sweaty palms as an indicator of me feeling anxious about an upcoming event. When I look at it a little deeper, I realize that my need for clarity isn’t being met. I can solve that emotion by investigating the unknown and preparing the best that I can.
Want to learn more?
These concepts are adapted from the work of Marshall Rosenburg and the Center for Nonviolent Communication. The following are some resources that will allow you to take a deeper dive into these principles.
