Counselors providing psychotherapy to clients frequently get asked by their clients, “Why me or Why now?” As a counselor, when clients ask, “Why me or Why now” I ask, why not you or why not now? These questions seem to come about when individuals find themselves in unwanted positions of having to accept changes in his or her life, ready or not. Acceptance of change comes with awareness of one’s needs in life. However, accepting new change can be uncomfortable, scary, and fearful. According to Barton Goldsmith, “As much as we fear it, change is the essence of personal growth. You really can’t do anything without some change, so it’s best to become friends with it. Fighting it is really frustrating, but if you can learn to go with it, you may be entering the time of your life.”
As one’s inner environment and outside environment constantly goes through change, acceptance of changes that we have no control over, that we cannot change, is crucial to one’s healing and recovery process caused by the deep rooted pain and hurtfulness from lifes experiences. According to Denise Fournier, “Our willingness to accept the unchangeable has a great deal to do with our emotional and psychological well-being. Whether we’re talking about a financial crisis, a health diagnosis, the loss of an important relationship, or any other unanticipated, unpleasant event, fighting what is won’t make it not so. Instead, when we do battle with reality, we cripple our capacity to cope with the situation and manage all the emotions we experience in response to it.”
Are you or have you being saying, “Why me or Why now?” Maybe, it is time to seek help from a counselor in order to start your healing and recovering process. A counselor can provide you with the proper tools to move on from your unwanted deep wounded painful parts of life.
References
Fournier, Denise, 2017, Psychology Today @2019 Sussex Publishers, LLC
Goldsmith, Barton, 2019, Psychology Today @2019 Sussex Publishers, LLC
