“However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” – Ephesians 5:33
Last month my wife and I finished our second year facilitating a Grace Marriage group. Each quarter we get to guide our group’s focus on being intentional about their marriage. (Additional details about this great program can be found at www.gracemarriage.com.) This quarter one of the sessions focused on the importance of growing in area of respecting one’s husband.
“When our husbands struggle, they are in greater need of respect than when they are acting respectably.” (Grace Marriage Workbook 2.4, p. 8)
In this section, Brad & his wife Marilyn (Rhodes) challenges the participants to be “intentional” with their responses by providing a list of things men often find disrespectful, behaviors to omit. The authors of this workbook then encourage wives to “commit” to a certain list of respectful acts. See both lists below:
Omit these behaviors towards your husband:
Nagging
Being controlling
Raising your voice or talking sternly
Withholding sex
Perpetually disagreeing
Correcting him (especially in public), I would add in front of children as well unless absolutely necessary
Making fun of him – notice how current media often shows this happening
Comparing your husband to others
Commit these acts of respect:
Compliment him – be his biggest fan.
Be physically generous – not just sexually – men want to be desired or pursued
Support him in his hopes and dreams – this is one area that I have been greatly blessed and can speak of its ability to empower one’s husband
Build him up to others – (See Proverbs 31 and how the husband is seen by others in the community)
Hang out with him – you don’t have to like everything he does but sharing things that are important to him, as well as just enjoying time together can help with intimacy between a husband and wife
Make what is important to him important to you – enjoy his interests
The key here is trying – if he sees you care then it can help his heart be further drawn closer to you.
(Adapted from Grace Marriage Workbook 2.4, pp. 8-10)
This may be hard for many who read this due to a husband’s actions or words in past. However, it is noted in the workbook that “respect is a gift of grace”. To put it another way, “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” (John 15:12)
(Rhoads, Brad, Grace Marriage Workbook: Life Intentional. Session 2.4. (2019). Grace Marriage, LLC.)
