Do you know the signs of an emotionally abusive relationship? Can you recognize the effects of an emotionally abusive relationship? Do you find yourself having to walk on eggshells around him or her?
Emotional abuse is not always obvious to either partner involved in the relationship. Its affects of control can be noticeable as well as unseen. According to Matthews, A. (2016), “Emotional abuse is an attempt to control, in just the same way that physical abuse is an attempt to control another person. The only difference is that the emotional abuser does not use physical hitting, kicking, pinching, grabbing, pushing, or other physical forms of harm. Rather the perpetrator of emotional abuse uses emotion as his/her weapon of choice.”
It can be difficult to recognize the signs of emotional abuse when it comes from someone you love or someone you’ve committed your life to. Therefore, the constant undercurrent of his or her emotionally abusive behavior can be overlooked or unseen by the one being attacked and emotionally hurt. However, hurt feelings communicate emotions from both partners. Emotions caused by your feelings will rule or influence your behavior and will ignite reactions to defend yourself, usually at any cost.
Take note, in an emotionally abusive relationship, your feelings communicate emotions that turn into behaviors that express or reflect uncontrollable outbreaks of pain. No one likes or wants pain, so in order to defend oneself from the unwanted pain he or she will utilize different ways to negate their hurt, some less obvious than others.
Stosny, S. (2018) describes several less obvious signs to look for in a relationship that is abusive or is on the path to becoming emotionally abusive:
At least one of the partners prefers to blame rather than focus on improvement
At least one of the partners withdraws affection and connection in the face of disagreement
At least one of the partners implies (without actually stating) that the other is not competent, smart, or resourceful enough
At least one of the partners walks on eggshells to avoid a disappointed look in the other
How do you negate your pain when you are in an emotionally abusive relationship? Do you keep silent and allow your silence to cause you more pain, shame, guilt, and fear or is it time to seek professional help with a therapist who can help you recognize what you are experiencing?
As previously mentioned, recognizing the signs of emotional abuse can be very difficult when it comes from someone you love or someone you’ve committed your life to. Just know that help is available for you when you are ready.
References
Matthews, A. (2016), Psychology Today @2019 Sussex Publishers. LLC
Stosny, S. (2018), Psychology Today @2019 Sussex Publishers. LLC
