This past year, I have been blessed to partner with my wife and we lead a group of couples in a marriage coaching/enrichment program called Grace Marriage. A primary principle behind it is that every married couple should be willing to invest six hours every nine months into their marriage. (Additional details about this great program can be found at www.gracemarriage.com.) This quarter, one of the sessions focused on the importance of gratitude in a marriage. According to Brad Rhoads, founder of Grace Marriage, he noted,
“A lack of gratitude hinders happiness. Conversely, a persistent attitude of gratitude protects us form the accusations of the enemy and helps us in adversity.” – (Grace Marriage Workbook 1.4, p. 5)
When working with individuals and couples struggling with depression or emptiness, one of the tools often used is a gratitude journal. Often, we can be so focused on the problem in our situation that the only thing we see is the negative (loss, hurtful word(s), ailment, lack of something, etc.) and thus everything feels dark, hopeless, painful, dire, etc. A gratitude journal helps us to choose to focus on the more positive thoughts and ideas about ourselves and our partner.
Brad Rhoads suggests some of the benefits grateful people enjoy on pages 5-6 in the workbook:
Take better care of themselves and have better exercise and dietary habits.
Have better immune function, faster healing, and lower blood pressure.
Have more friends, less anxiety, improved mental clarity, better relationships, and better psychological health.
Have a lower risk for depression, anxiety, and substance abuse disorders.
Enjoy improved sleep quality, increased self-esteem, and better health.
Have fewer aches and pains.
Have better marriages.
I remember a song when I was growing up entitled “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” by Bobby McFerrin. It was one of those songs that was just fun. Dwelling on and remembering happy moments or things you have enjoyed can lift our spirits into a more joyful place. At times, life is hard and it can be difficult to feel joyful. Practicing gratitude daily can be a very practical way to cope with whatever is happening in your life. If we choose to be grateful for the positive things in the people, places, and situations around us, then imperfections of life don’t take up our view.
