Why is the act of forgiveness so difficult? Do you find yourself justifying why you can’t or won’t forgive? Is the act so painful or hurtful that you keep it stored up inside of you?
Holding on to past resentment, anger, bitterness, and hatred toward the offender will cause undue harm to you all over again. Your physical health can be attacked. Anxiety and depression can be the result of not being able to let go. The anger you feel keeps you victimized to the unwanted past act.
Forgiveness does not mean you have to forget or will forget what was done to you or done against you. Forgiveness means you have come to realize that in order for you to finally move forward from the unwanted past, but not forget the past, you need to allow the process of forgiveness to take place.
Research reports that it is important for the harmed individual to understand that forgiveness is necessary to live a happier life.
The following are several factors to help with understanding the forgiveness process:
Forgiveness does not justify hurtful actions
Forgiveness does not mean remaining in a relationship with the one who hurt you
Forgiveness is not weakness
Forgiveness is not self-belittlement
Forgiveness does not mean to agree
Forgiveness does not mean to forget
Depression can keep you in the past if you choose to let it have power over you and over your feelings. Anxiety forces you to live in the future if you choose to let it manipulate your thoughts with fear. Peace allows you to live in the present. If you want it bad enough, you can find it within yourself to forgive.
Reference
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/family-secrets/201702/forgiveness
Psychology Today, 2018, Sussex Publishers, LLC
