Have you ever wondered about making a big change in your life? Should I look for a new job? What can I change about my relationship to make me happier? What should I do? I can’t decide.
Making big changes can present one with confusion, frustration, fear, and hesitancy. Yet, making a big change can be completely worth the struggle once you’ve experienced all the stages of change. Below you will read about the beginning stages of change: contemplation and preparation.
An individual who is in the contemplation or preparation stage of change is in a state of ambivalence. This can be an experience of mixed feelings about starting something new. It is like part of you wants to make the change and a part of you doesn’t want to make the change. We call this ambivalence.
The below points can help you work through ambivalence:
Spending time with ambivalence can help you move through it. Don’t avoid it or move through it too quickly. Breathe and stay in the ambivalence.
People often tend to avoid ambivalence because it is frustrating and uncomfortable to focus on conflicting priorities without making a decision. This is okay. These emotions can help you make your final decision.
Ambivalence is often rooted in a discrepancy between your values and your behavior. Ask yourself “What are my values and do they conflict with my current situation?”
It can be hard to work through this on your own. Ask a trusted family member or friend for their advice and feedback. If you don’t feel safe asking a friend or family member, then involve a professional counselor.
If you are experiencing ambivalence, I can partner with you to help you in understanding the part of yourself that is leaning towards change as I help guide you through your decision making process.
