Are you struggling in communication with your partner?
Do your conversations get de-railed and end in an argument? Does one of you end up shutting down? In either case, it wasn’t the dialogue you had hoped for. Below are some helpful tips for having effective communication skills with your partner.
First, get in the right frame of mind to have an open conversation with your partner.
Remember this is about you and an issue you are having at this time or problem you are wanting to discuss.
Check-in with yourself.
Can you have this conversation now without pointing a finger or blaming your partner? You need to be in a place mentally and emotionally to not be critical towards your partner. Imagine feeling heard and understood by your partner.
Check-out the timing with your partner.
Is it a good time for him or her? Remember, you want your partner’s full attention when you talk. If this isn’t a good time for your partner try to figure out a different time that works well for both of you within the next 24 hours.
Start with an appreciation if you can do so in an authentic way.
An appreciation will help you start with a positive state of mind. Most people like to know they are appreciated in some way.
Describe the situation or thing you want to discuss.
Be as concise as possible. Focus on keeping it to the one topic you want to discuss. This isn’t the time to pull out other frustrations you may have.
Since this starts with you, start with an “I statement.
Speak a want or a desire. Remember, this is about something you want, you need, or you desire. Put that into words. Imagine keeping your partner close to you.
If you are struggling to have good communication skills with your partner and you feel that working with a professional counselor can help, please give me a call.
