Take Your Child on a Date

Posted on May 6, 2016

It is easy to get into a routine of homework, chores, sporting events, and other extra-curricular activities. You and your child are running from place to place just trying to check everything off the list. It is easy to allow the busyness of life to take over.

You may find yourself frustrated at your child for not performing well at his or her basketball game. Or, you become so invested in your child’s math grade that you spend two hours helping him or her study the night before the test and then when they do poorly your frustration level rises. 

Do you base your success as a parent upon how your child is performing? We live in a performance driven society, so it is easy to fall into the performance-based trap. You may find that most of the time spent with your child is in performance-based activities. While it is important to spend time with your child helping out with homework, going to events, etc. etc., it is also important that your child feel loved by you just for who she or he is, not based upon what they are doing.

How can you just be with your child without rules and expectations? How can you enjoy your child and how God has made him or her? Incorporate regular dates with your child that do not involve expectations or rules. The only expectation is that you have fun with him or her and enjoy each other’s company.

Date list for children

  • Go see a movie together
  • Play a non-competitive game together
  • Go ice skating
  • Go out to dinner and let your child pick the table talk topic
  • Go hiking
  • Pack a picnic and go to a park close by

And parents, if your teen acts as if he or she does not want to spend time with you, they probably do, but do not want to admit it. So start scheduling these fun enjoyable dates together and he or she will want to continue, especially when they realize there is not an expectation connected to it. Don’t connect these dates to performance. You should be spending valuable time with your child regardless of how he or she performs on their math test. Take away TV time as discipline for not doing well in school, but do not take away valuable time with you.

Written by:  Emily Paxton, LMHC, RD

Emily is a Licensed Mental Health Therapist and Registered Dietitian at Groff and Associates Professional Counseling.  She has over ten years experience counseling patients, with eating disorders.  She has also worked with and has a passion for families dealing with parent/child relations or trauma.  If you are interested, in seeing a counselor, for help, in these areas, contact Emily

 

Tags: , , , , , ,


Contact Us | About | Privacy | Sitemap | Terms of Use
Copyright © 2012 Groff & Associates.
All Rights Reserved. Indianapolis Counseling

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