Quick Tips for Managing Your Anger with Your Child

Posted on March 20, 2014

Parenting is a tough endeavor!  I’m often asked by clients “How do I manage my anger and emotions with my child?”  I also hear, “I’m trying so hard, but I still feel like I’m failing as a parent.”  Have you ever felt this way?  If so, you’re in luck!  Below you will find some quick fixes for managing your own anger and emotional response with your child.

When you find yourself in your typical pattern of battling with your child and anger begins to surge, try one of these suggestions below:

  • Bend to her level and start whispering.  Children respond much better when a parent is close and can use a calm voice.  Whispering changes the dynamic and often elicits a laugh from your child, helping to alleviate the situation.
  • Use “emotion words” to describe what is happening.  “I’m feeling very frustrated right now.  My face is turning red and my fists are clenched.”  Speaking aloud the aspects that are happening allows you to recognize much faster the changes you can make to calm down.
  • Take a giant deep breath by breathing in for a count of 5, holding your breath for a count of 5, and exhaling for a count of 5.
  • Don’t accept your child’s “invitation” to her angry party.  Every poke and prod from your child is another invitation.  Don’t RSVP.  You have much better things to do with your time than to go to her party.
  • Call on God.  A simple, “God I need you” reminds you that you’re not alone in the situation.  God will calm you and give you the strength to manage the situation in a healthy manner.  Fight with God, not against God.
  • Don’t give up!  Repetition is needed to learn new behaviors.  Keep practicing and you’ll see change.

 

Written by:  Kristie L. Watts, LMFTA

Kristie Watts is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Associate at Groff and Associates Counseling.  Her passions are parent/child relationships, adolescent females, and grief and loss.   If you are interested in seeing a counselor, for help, in these areas, contact Kristie.

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NzE6Imh0dHA6Ly9ncm9mZmFuZGFzc29jaWF0ZXMuY29tL3dwLWNvbnRlbnQvd29vX3VwbG9hZHMvMy1ncm9mZl9oZWFkZXIucG5nIjt9PC9saT48L3VsPg==