Pornography, Intimacy, and It’s Not Your Fault

Posted on March 27, 2014

For many partners, especially women, the most frequently asked question about pornography is “Why do they do it”? Pornography is a serious problem that sparks painful hurts when a partner’s secret porn habit is caught. This article will study a brief explanation about porn addiction and why it is not your fault.

Like many addictions, using pornography is a means to numb stress and avoid distressing feelings.  Porn addiction is distinctive from other addictions as chemical dependency is not present. Porn is based on unrealistic expectations which paralyze a person’s ability to deal with disappointment and conflict in a relationship.

When partners find out about their partner’s pornography, they are often hurt and baffled.  On these occasions, partners often beg answers now, and many addicts cannot give a direct answer.  Most porn addicts are relationally stunted; they often have difficulty explaining why they have a porn addiction. Because many partners, usually women, feel they can’t compete with sex in pornography, they often feel they are at fault. If you find yourself in this situation, consider the following:

  • Porn addiction compromises the user’s integrity; you cannot force them to it.
  • Addicts use porn because they did not learn healthy ways to deal with their sexuality and their own feelings, they find difficult.
  • The porn addiction is usually formed before your relationship started.

Pornography is having an affair with an unreal person. Pornography has not only destroyed many relationships, it has promoted the abuse and objectification of sex partners. This is not a problem that is to be discounted, if your partner has a porn addiction; it is not your fault.

Written by: Chris Denzler, MA

Chris has successfully helped clients, mostly men, with intimacy and sex addictions develop healthy sexuality and learn new ways to relate to their partners. He offers compassion to those struggling with pornography and sexual addictions, while promoting personal integrity and commitment to their relationships. If you, or your loved one, is struggling with pornography or other sexual addictions, contact Chris at chris@groffandassociates.com or (317) 474-6448 Ext. 116.

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NzE6Imh0dHA6Ly9ncm9mZmFuZGFzc29jaWF0ZXMuY29tL3dwLWNvbnRlbnQvd29vX3VwbG9hZHMvMy1ncm9mZl9oZWFkZXIucG5nIjt9PC9saT48L3VsPg==