How to Really Love Our Children

Posted on October 30, 2014

 Becoming a parent is undoubtedly the most exciting, most crucial responsibility you may have the privilege of experiencing.  When you become a parent, it is the one role that can never be taken away from you.  From the time they are born, to the moment they take their first steps, to when they begin their first day of school, you watch them grow as your love for them increases daily.

When asked the question, “Do you love your child(ren),” most parents would respond with an enthusiastic, “Yes! Of course I do!” This statement is usually followed by the multiple assurances of how and why they love their child(ren). These may all be true and accurate, however, you may be a parent that says, “Yes! Of course,” yet despite all of your hard work and exhausting dedication it does not seem to register with your child(ren).

“I have tried everything! Nothing seems to work with this kid!”

“He/She used to be so well behaved. I am not doing anything different than before. What am I doing wrong?”

Let me assure you:

  • You are most likely not doing anything wrong.
  • Yes, there are still some things you have not tried.

Just as your love changes as your child(ren) grow older, the way your child(ren) experience your love changes as well. You may have heard of Dr. Gary Chapman and his popular book entitled “The 5 Love Languages of Children.” If you have read the book, great! If not, Dr. Chapman along with Dr. Ross Campbell explain how children experience love in their own unique way:

  • Acts of Service
  • Quality Time
  • Receiving Gifts
  • Words of Affirmation
  • Physical Touch

For your child(ren), this is especially true. The emphasis is how they experience this love. You may love your child unconditionally, but if they do not feel loved you may miss the incredible joy and fruit that is produced when all the pieces fit just right.

Resource: Chapman, G. D., & Campbell, R. (1997). The five love languages of children. Chicago: Moody Press.

 

Logan Everett is a Resident Therapist at Groff and Associates Counseling. Logan is pursuing licensure as a Marriage and Family Therapist. Logan has experience working with individuals, couples and families. If you are interested in meeting with Logan, you may contact him here.

 

 

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NzE6Imh0dHA6Ly9ncm9mZmFuZGFzc29jaWF0ZXMuY29tL3dwLWNvbnRlbnQvd29vX3VwbG9hZHMvMy1ncm9mZl9oZWFkZXIucG5nIjt9PC9saT48L3VsPg==