How to Create a Godly Marriage

Posted on August 27, 2012

Marriage is one of the hardest jobs on Earth. Striving to love someone day in and day out can sometimes feel more like a chore than a blessing.  There are ways, however, to help your marriage to be more of a blessing, more fruitful, and more satisfying for both you and your spouse.  There are tons of books and theories on how to make a marriage last, but do any of them really answer the question, “How do I build a lasting marriage?”  To answer that question, I have looked to what God created a marriage to be and the expectations around this loving relationship.

Sacrifice and Submission

These two principles work hand in hand in a Godly marriage.  A husband is called to be self sacrificing to the point of giving his life up for his wife.  This is inclusive of putting your wife’s needs, and maybe sometimes wants, ahead of your own.  A wife on the other hand is called to submit to her husband.  This is the act of trust in her husband and fully supporting the decisions that are made.

Making Love

There are clear instructions here on sex.  A man and his wife should not abstain from sex unless there is a mutual agreement on length of time to remain abstinent.  Men are to love their wives so completely in other ways that her desire is to love him in this way as well. Women are to be open and willing to love their husbands in this way.  In other words, give him a chance to get you in the mood before you shut him down.  Making love is one of the deepest bonds between people and was given to men and women in the bond of marriage to keep marriages strong.

Loyalty

The loyalty in a marriage encompasses a great deal.  Sexual faithfulness is the loyalty of body, mind, and soul.  It is an infidelity to have feelings, even if not acted on, towards others.  Be loyal in words.  This means do not bad mouth your spouse to others.  Speak highly of your spouse whenever you get a chance, and when you are angry talk to your spouse about it.  Loyalty does not include gossiping about your spouse. Hold your spouse above all other Earthly relationships.  Loyalty to your spouse should come before loyalty to your family, friends, or other relationships.

Respect Your Spouse

This can look different for men and women.  A big one for men is having wandering eyes.  Whether with your wife present, while on your own, or in the comfort of your own home seeking out or looking a long time at attractive women other than your wife is disrespectful and damaging to your marriage. Women do not seek to tempt other men.  Seek to please your husbands by focusing on him and not others.

Building a strong marriage is not done in a day.  Like anything worth doing, it takes time.  No matter how far gone a marriage might seem, if both partners are willing it can be made to work.  Seeking a counselor might be the best way to right your marriage.  A counselor can help with a variety of problems and help to fix bad patterns in a marriage.  Seeking a Godly marriage is always worthwhile.  And whether you need help or not, it’s going to take hard work that will pay off in the end.

 

Written by: Shannon Sievers, MA

Shannon  has a Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy in the Indianapolis area.  She specializes in relationship and divorce care, teen issues, and communication skills.  To contact Shannon call (317) 474- 6448 ext 112 or email at Shannon@GroffandAssociates.com

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NzE6Imh0dHA6Ly9ncm9mZmFuZGFzc29jaWF0ZXMuY29tL3dwLWNvbnRlbnQvd29vX3VwbG9hZHMvMy1ncm9mZl9oZWFkZXIucG5nIjt9PC9saT48L3VsPg==