Dealing With A Troubled Teenager: Part 1

Posted on July 21, 2011

As a Marriage and Family Therapist, I see many families who have problems with teenagers.  Parents ask me questions, such as: “What happened to my sweet little child?”  “Why does he always try to defy me?”  “Why doesn’t she listen to me anymore like she used to?”  “I’m just trying to help; why doesn’t he let me help?”  “I have an out of control teenager…I just don’t know what to do…” 

Adolescence can be a very tricky time in human development.  It’s a time when your child is giving birth to identity, worth, purpose, spirituality and sexuality.  As parents, knowing how to navigate these sometimes treacherous issues can be like holding onto a lifeboat in a Tsunami!  Here are five (5) tips to dealing with your troubled teenager:

  1. Try to spend time with your teenager one-on-one.
  2. Be sure to talk with your teenager; not at your teenager.
  3. Find ways to be speak positively about your teenager.
  4. Set reasonable expectations and S.M.A.R.T. goals for your teenager.
  5. Hold your teenager accountable to your expectations and goals.

Finally, don’t give up on yourself or your teenager. If you are stuck, seek counseling help.  A licensed child/adolescent therapist, youth pastor, trusted teacher or friend is a great resource to consider when you don’t know where to turn for help.  These days only last for a short time and the relationship growth on the other side is well-worth the investment.  Don’t let their attitude weigh you down.  Rise up under the challenge and know are working to raise healthy and wise adults.  And that takes years of practice, discipline, and most importantly, lots and lots of prayer!

Written By:  Sally Groff, MA, LMFT, RPT

Sally Groff is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Registered Play Therapist in Indianapolis, IN.   She is the Clinical Director of Groff & Associates and is an AAMFT Approved Supervisor.  Her passion is to offer professional, outpatient care to families.  Her desire is to celebrate great families and for our children to be ready and equipped for a bright and promised future.  Contact Sally Groff to discuss your family situation with her.

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,


Contact Us | About | Privacy | Sitemap | Terms of Use
Copyright © 2012 Groff & Associates.
All Rights Reserved. Indianapolis Counseling

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