As I come to the conclusion of my reflecting on God’s blueprint found in the book “Strengthening Your Marriage” by Wayne Mack, attention is transitioned to the need for two to become one flesh. Mack references another definition of marriage as “Marriage is a total commitment and a total sharing of the total person with another person until death.” He goes on to include in this sharing each spouse’s bodies, belongings, thoughts and ideas, talent and abilities, successes, failures, and challenges, etc.
A metaphor used to relate to marriage is that of a team in sports. Any individual member of a team uses all his or her skills and thoughts towards the common goal shared by the whole team, victory for the team. Unfortunately, a teammate can give into the temptation to please one’s own selfish desires and many times negatively affect the team’s outcome. The same goes for a marriage. If all we have belongs to our spouse in becoming one flesh, then any part withheld or removed from one’s spouse will hinder true completeness and often impair proper functioning as God intended. What if the liver is taken from a body? What about the intestines? What about the heart?
What keeps one from totally sharing our whole self with our spouse? Just as sin can separate us from God, so it can go between spouses. Below are three specific sins that often create a wall between spouses.
Sin of selfishness
This is my thing, I am not worried about what he or she thinks, etc.
Sin of pride
I can handle this alone, I don’t need their help
He or she is the problem, if only they would change
It would never happen to us
Sins of bitterness, ingratitude, negative speech,
critical spirit, neglect, impatience, or lack of empathy
All of these can be linked to Adam and Eve’s first sin and sin carries on in our marriage relationships. As one reads this list of sins, it would be beneficial to ask God to help see which sin or sins are crouching in your marriage, to ask God for forgiveness, and ask God to help you to turn from the sin that so easily entangles.
(Mack, Wayne A. (1999). Strengthening Your Marriage (2nd ed.) Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R Publishing Company.)
